October 1, 2009
valley camp

have I fallen asleep at the gate?
in he came, crashing pillars and
pouring pots of soil, seed, and flower.

for the first time in
my life his whispers heeded,
and scripture turned to poison
and the promise of new life
a frightful thing behind
a heavy curtain.

who have I been named today?
I have not met him,
and pray His promise to the
one sheep run up the mountain.

Oct ‘07

I have walked with little faith as well, and seasons of millstone fear dragging me off the bridge.  I am with you, and have been.

-JJ

3:48pm  |   URL: http://tumblr.com/ZU-3XyC2u7R
October 1, 2009
ambition.

i want to be great because
i want to be worthy of creation i want
to show that this kit can build a tower
and be ravished upstream and grizzly eaten
i want that tower to be appreciated, first by the tool giver
but evidenced by my community is that the praise of men?
i cannot quite see the selfless life realized
in the pursuit of greatness

maybe selflessness is not self-diminishing
but right opinion, the positioning of self
as created, gifted, and fragile, a sum of
circumstance and features

selflessness is reaching for the magnificent as an
expression of obligation to an artist-teacher God
no, not obligation, but obedience, chosen from understanding
proportion and mountains and tired muscles and good sleep and
a days good work
diminishing is perhaps a great offense.

- JJ

3:46pm  |   URL: http://tumblr.com/ZU-3XyC2tpE
September 30, 2009

I have never voiced this: I have little faith and live in fear of oblivion.

11:24pm  |   URL: http://tumblr.com/ZU-3XyC0vqJ
September 9, 2009

“The proclamation of the Church must make allowance for this freedom of grace. Apokatastasis Panton? (Universal Salvation) No, for a grace which automatically would ultimately have to embrace each and every one would certainly not be free grace. It surely would not be God’s grace. But would it be God’s free grace if we could absolutely deny that it could do that? Has Christ been sacrificed only for our sins? Has he not … been sacrificed for the whole world? … [Thus] the freedom of grace is preserved on both these sides.”
For Barth, then, we can neither affirm nor deny the possibility that all will be saved. So what can we do? Barth’s answer is clear: we can hope

2:43pm  |   URL: http://tumblr.com/ZU-3XyAzjpQ
September 1, 2009
War is a force that gives us meaning.

War and conflict have marked most of my adult life. I have been in ambushes on desolate stretches of Central American roads, locked in unnerving firefights in the marshes in southern Iraq, imprisoned in the Sudan, beaten by Saudi military police, deported from Libya and Iran, captured and held for a week by Iraqi Republican Guards, strafed by Russian Mig-21s in central Bosnia, shot at by Serb snipers and shelled with deafening rounds of artillery in Sarajevo that threw out thousands of deadly bits of iron fragments. I have seen too much of violent death. I have tasted too much of my own fear. I have painful memories that lie buried most of the time. It is never easy when they surface.

And yet there is a part of me that remains nostalgic for war’s simplicity and high. The enduring attraction of war is this: Even with its destruction and carnage it gives us what we all long for in life. It gives us purpose, meaning, a reason for living. Only when we are in the midst of conflict does the shallowness and vapidness of our lives become apparent. Trivia dominates our conversations and increasingly our news. And war is an enticing elixir. It gives us resolve, a cause. It allows us to be noble. And those that have the least meaning in their lives-the impoverished refugees in Gaza, the disenfranchised North African immigrants in France, even the lost legions of youth that live in the splendid indolence and safety of the industrialized world-are all susceptible to war’s appeal.

Read More: War is a force that gives us meaning.

11:55am  |   URL: http://tumblr.com/ZU-3XyAaHgj
August 31, 2009
conceal everything. JR

conceal everything.

JR

1:01pm  |   URL: http://tumblr.com/ZU-3XyAXCTO
August 31, 2009
"ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen."

— John Steinbeck

10:14am  |   URL: http://tumblr.com/ZU-3XyAWpKl
August 28, 2009
Voltaire*

An appeal of significant measure - upon my meditation of the great canons of idea – theology, philosophy, literature - I question, of what method may these thoughts be birthed, or then, consumed? For hundreds of years, a small cherry; picked, roasted, brewed - has fashioned a medium for which intellectually charged dreams of revolution, revelation, reevaluation; and lastly rebirth – are recognized. As we journey for truth, understanding, mystery – let us drink.

Good coffee, carefully roasted and properly brewed, produces a natural beverage that, for tonic effect, can not be surpassed, even by its rivals, tea and cocoa. Here is a drink that ninety-seven percent of individuals find harmless and wholesome, and without which life would be drab indeed—a pure, safe, and helpful stimulant compounded in nature’s own laboratory, and one of the chief joys of life! -William H Ukers
*Voltaire drank 40 cups of coffee daily.

9:43am  |   URL: http://tumblr.com/ZU-3XyANieT
August 27, 2009
love this.

And then he prayed, “God, I’m asking for two thingsbefore I die; don’t refuse me—8 Banish lies from my lipsand liars from my presence.Give me enough food to live on,neither too much nor too little. 9 If I’m too full, I might get independent,saying, ‘God? Who needs him?’If I’m poor, I might stealand dishonor the name of my God.”

JR

10:04am  |   URL: http://tumblr.com/ZU-3XyAKJLn
August 25, 2009
"

If I were more attractive,
the smiles I attract and
the exchanges she engaged would be
colored by, ‘why?’
and my boldness in openness
and open arms long held hugs
would confuse the loneliness in her, or him
instead of a moments repose and a deep healing breath
in arms that just want to hold for love’s sake
or a sharing of the true heart, not
flooded by the hunger of animals.

If I were smarter,
I would be lonely.

If I were stronger,
I’d like to be stronger,
but I fear the too-welcome shadow that waits to tell
‘who cares about your best?’
‘tell me… no one.’
‘be better than him, or him, be better than’
‘and take care he sees’
there is a gift in the unfantastic.
one less fight.

If I were funnier,
I’d trade the moments where
soil was prime to turn and till
for applause and rich laughter
that grows nothing except
more invitations to dinner.

If I had a girl friend,
I do not know.
Both miracles and chaos.
I say impossible. how weak.

If I was married,
my history could not
have been what it was
and I would not be what I am
and what I am may prove to be important
or not
but I am not married.
though whoever that person is, listen:
I do not know.

If my family was perfect,
I have not met one.
And the pain I have experienced is not unlike others,
the fracture of form is clear,
but the love and honesty is rich and budding,
and my pain is the same as your pain.

If I were more determined,
If I saw the truth clearer,
If I saw without these frames,
I would love more,
draw more,
write more,
seek more,
talk less,
talk more,
hold more,
carry less,
think less,
reflect more,
and gasp, and die, and
dust is dust
and rest.

"

— JJ

8:38pm  |   URL: http://tumblr.com/ZU-3XyAFS6C